Saturday, May 8, 2010

Day 3

Today was an interesting day. You see, last night I didn't end up going for that walk/run. I ended up talking to an old friend on the phone for quite awhile. But I think our conversation was so productive, it was worth it. He talked to me about how in therapy he is discovering why he has become numb to certain feelings. After listening to him, I started to realize that in some ways, I experience the same thing, which is why I eat emotionally. Food is my friend, my comfort, it's always there, it makes me happy when I'm sad and distracted when I'm lonely. That's how I've become addicted to it. So what I'm trying to do now is always experience my emotions as they come. Today I allowed myself to be sad about some things that have been going on, even though usually I ignore these feelings and put on a happy face.
Overall, it wasn't the worst day. I fixated on some dessert sitting in my kitchen, and eventually gave in and ate it. But I also ate lots of veggies, beans, and salad. I even went for a 3.5 mile hike with my sister and brother-in-law, which I really enjoyed. I want to excercise every day for awhile, because I am moving in a few weeks for a new job, and I will lose my gym membership. Also, as the weather heats up I'm constantly reminded that summer is coming, and I want to feel confident in shorts, and comfortable in a swimsuit. So from now on that is part of my committment to this project. I will go to the gym everyday if possible.

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